I've been going through a lot of personal crap the past couple of months, as well as some very good things, too. I've been teaching one of my best friends how to relax & chill out with meditation. He is always complaining that his mind never shuts off, too many things, worries & distractions are constantly running through his head. I also got him into burning candles & incenses as an aid to relaxing. I try to meditate at least once a day, if not, a few times each week to relax myself & connect to the universe.
Last week was a very stressful week, to say the least. So, in order to chill out, take a breather, I decided to do a meditation in my room. Because I was so stressed, I took a nice warm bath beforehand, lit a candle in my room and some sweetgrass incense (I got it last summer at a Pow Wow) and relaxed into my space.
This particular meditation started off different than what I'm used to. I normally go into my usual place and ask for the Goddess' blessing & protection. This time I stepped right into a pool of water and dove under & swam off into the darkness. When I surfaced, after what seemed like a long time underwater, I was in an underground cavern. I had only seen this place before once when I crawled through "Alice's rabbit hole" and talked to a mysterious woman in the shadows. This time I came up out of the water into this cavern and was in a long flowing white gown, a flower garland in my hair and I was completely dry. The water looked black in the darkness of the cave, save for a candle burning on the wall behind me. The air was warm & comforting and I felt at ease, no stress. Then, out of the shadows an old woman in a long black robe stepped out. Her grey hair was long & wavy, her eyes as black as the pool of water in front of me. I felt at ease when I saw Her, no fear. She spoke with a soft voice, giving counsel when I needed it. She listened as I poured my heart out to Her. I knew I was in the presence of the Goddess, for She knew what was troubling me. She knows that I am struggling with my faith, questioning it. She did tell me that it's alright to question things, even my beliefs and not to doubt that which is happening around me. She knew I am feeling a bit disconnected to things and that I need to get myself grounded.
After our talk, I felt better, a little bit relaxed and I dove back into the water and swam back to reality. That night I did a little clearing of people on Facebook that I no longer need in my life or those I really don't talk to really. It was a spiritual cleansing of my "friends" list and it made me feel better.
A little while ago, during one of my meditations, a new figure emerged for me. Even though she didn't reveal herself to me in a visual sense, I had a strong feeling that I knew who She was: The Morrigan.
I know she has many names (the Morrigan, Morrigu, Morrigan La Fey, etc) and she has been subtly letting me know about her. I would see crows everywhere, even where there shouldn't be any birds. I came upon her when I read The Mists of Avalon, then while reading the Magic Treehouse books for my son, where one of the story's protagonist is Morgan la Fey. *Note* I am still learning about the Deity and her many aspects. I have been a little confused as to who she really is, a Celtic War Goddess or Queen of the Faeries, but I am still trying to decipher all this. For some reason, even though I am getting a lot of references to Morrigan La Fey, I feel a connection to The Morrigan.
Because of this, I have been exploring more about discovering my Shadow Self and performing Dark Moon rituals to banish unwanted things out of my life, as well as meditations to further my knowledge of this Goddess. I find her to be a very helpful Deity for me. I show her the respect she deserves, not using her for my own devices. My study of her is ongoing. As I learn more about her, I will post.
Blessings
Rowan
So, yesterday I had my first Shamanic Journey yesterday to meet my Totem Animal. I went to a friend's place with another friend for my journey. After having a light lunch of soup, we got ready and put on some really good drumming. I laid down on my blanket in my usual meditation position, closed my eyes and let the rhythm of the drumming take me over.
I entered into my meditative state by my usual means, by going through a doorway and descending down. I was in a murky swamp-like place. There was fog all around, close to the ground. It reminded me of what you would see in a movie. I could hear all sorts of sounds, the ground squishing under my feet. My quest was to meet my Totem so I asked the fist animal I encountered, a huge green snake with red eyes. He said no, he wasn't who I was looking for. I kept on walking when I saw a beautiful snowy white owl, like Hedwig. I asked her, but she wasn't. Next I saw to my right a lion & his lioness lounging. I had a feeling they weren't mine so I kept on walking. I saw a huge hawk soaring above me, so I asked him. He said no, but that I was on the right track. I kept walking til I came to a huge tree where up in the branches was a huge, brown Great Horned Owl. He spoke before I could ask my question, "I believe you're looking for me." I was floored!! This owl was talking to me. I asked if he had a name, not knowing if names are a common thing with Totems. Instead of telling me verbally, I saw his name, as if it was being written in a book, Asra.
He told me to come inside the tree he was perched on. I saw that down by the base of the tree an opening. When I went in, I was in a cave with a fire burning in the center. Asra wasn't there, liked I had hoped, but instead there was a man sitting by the fire. I knew who the man was, as he was someone I once knew & cared for. I asked why he was there, where was Asra?? He smiled & answered that this was my journey & that I had to figure it out. I could hear the drumming grow faster, a cue to wrap things up. I started running back to where I began.
I wrote what I saw in my journal and we all shared our experiences. I didn't feel comfortable telling my friends that the man I saw was a past relationship. But, as I thought more about it when I got home, that was silly thinking. I think it may have been a guide manifesting itself as someone I knew?? I don't know. Now, since I don't know too much about owls, I'll be Googling.
Bright Blessings
)O(
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I've been going through a lot of personal crap the past couple of months, as well as some very good things, too. I've been teaching one of my best friends how to relax & chill out with meditation. He is always complaining that his mind never shuts off, too many things, worries & distractions are constantly running through his head. I also got him into burning candles & incenses as an aid to relaxing. I try to meditate at least once a day, if not, a few times each week to relax myself & connect to the universe.
This particular meditation started off different than what I'm used to. I normally go into my usual place and ask for the Goddess' blessing & protection. This time I stepped right into a pool of water and dove under & swam off into the darkness. When I surfaced, after what seemed like a long time underwater, I was in an underground cavern. I had only seen this place before once when I crawled through "Alice's rabbit hole" and talked to a mysterious woman in the shadows. This time I came up out of the water into this cavern and was in a long flowing white gown, a flower garland in my hair and I was completely dry. The water looked black in the darkness of the cave, save for a candle burning on the wall behind me. The air was warm & comforting and I felt at ease, no stress. Then, out of the shadows an old woman in a long black robe stepped out. Her grey hair was long & wavy, her eyes as black as the pool of water in front of me. I felt at ease when I saw Her, no fear. She spoke with a soft voice, giving counsel when I needed it. She listened as I poured my heart out to Her. I knew I was in the presence of the Goddess, for She knew what was troubling me. She knows that I am struggling with my faith, questioning it. She did tell me that it's alright to question things, even my beliefs and not to doubt that which is happening around me. She knew I am feeling a bit disconnected to things and that I need to get myself grounded.
